She didn't like to drive you anywhere, so you turned down invitations because you had no way to get there. You aren't hysterical at all; she is, but your refusal has made her feel the shame that should have stopped her from making shameless demands in the first place. Asking a narcissistic mother for a favor feels like selling your soul to the devil. Unfortunately therapists, given the deniable actions of the narcissist and eager to defend a fellow parent, will often jump to the narcissist's defense as well, reinforcing your sense of isolation and helplessness "I'm sure she didn't mean it like that!
She's a martyr who believed the best of you, and you've let her down. It isn't that she doesn't care at all about other people's feelings, though she doesn't. You're just trying to get out of school. She "guesses" that "maybe" she "might have" done something wrong.
Projection means that she will put her own bad behavior, character and traits on you so she can deny them in herself and punish you. You may not have been beaten, but you were almost certainly left to endure physical pain when a normal mother would have made an effort to relieve your misery. You keep pushing her away when all she wants to do is help you.
I have none of the selfless love of my mother. Instead, as always, it's all about her, and her helpless self-pitying weepiness dumps the responsibility for her consequences AND for her unhappiness about it on you. She may have stolen your identity.
Indeed, they are often recruited by the narcissist to adopt her contemptuous and entitled attitude towards the scapegoat and with her tacit or explicit permission, will inflict further abuse. You're responsible for her feelings, she has no responsibility for yours. She "guesses" that "maybe" she "might have" done something wrong.
You made her do it. She will be nasty to you about things that are peripherally connected with your successes so that you find your joy in what you've done is tarnished, without her ever saying anything directly about it.
Posted by: Doulkree | on October 2, 2012
Do you feel helpless in the presence of your mother? This all serves to keep her children under her control as long as possible. They will compare siblings.
I am, to be blunt and concise, in love only with myself, my puny being with its small inadequate breasts and meager, thin talents. She'll try to get it from you, spoil it for you, or get the same or better for herself.
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