Did you go to medical school just to please your toxic parent, even though your heart, mind, body and soul ached to be a musician or artist? Get real with yourself about which dreams are yours and which ones are derived from the expectations of your narcissistic father. Maybe you really are a successful person as your friend says, even though your narcissistic father always berated you for not achieving this or that.
You are truly worthy, with or without the approval of anyone else. We are fiercely independent. On the other, it can also put a damper on a healthier longer-term relationship when things always feel at a standstill. Some of us may even have a habit of settling just for the sake of settling down; long-term relationships can provide an odd sense of comfort to someone who has always felt alienated, especially by their own flesh and blood.
We deeply desire commitment, but we also fear it like the plague. We are afraid of being seen, so we either become too visible by oversharing or disappear altogether by withdrawing. Their drive towards an illusion of perfection can easily turn into an unhealthy obsession that affects their mental health as well as self-esteem.
Many of us even took on parent roles. Their drive towards an illusion of perfection can easily turn into an unhealthy obsession that affects their mental health as well as self-esteem. You are truly worthy, with or without the approval of anyone else. You are your own person and you are also deserving of having someone care for you in return should you need it.
Sometimes, children of narcissists have a tendency to overshare in the early stages of healing in the hopes that someone will see their pain and come rescue them. Consider that there are children who grow up in nourishing and validating family environments where their imperfect selves are still unconditionally loved and respected.
Maybe you really are deserving of a healthy relationship, like your counselor told you. Make a list of aspirations you were never allowed to pursue due to the influence of your toxic parent, as well as any ideologies or beliefs they imposed upon you that you no longer wish to follow. We are emotional private investigators that are highly attuned to changes in our environment.
Posted by: Babei | on October 2, 2012
Some of us may even have a habit of settling just for the sake of settling down; long-term relationships can provide an odd sense of comfort to someone who has always felt alienated, especially by their own flesh and blood. She is passionate about using her knowledge base in psychology, sociology, gender studies and mental health to help survivors empower themselves after emotional abuse and trauma. Childhood psychological abuse has long-lasting impact.
It is no surprise that narcissistic parents exploit the accomplishments of their children only to bolster their own egos; anything the narcissistic father praised about you, he tended to do in the presence of a witness. However, deep down, we also have an intense fear of commitment, especially when it comes to committing to a person who may actually truly care for us. Release the idea that you have to be perfect in order to be good enough.
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