Not wanting to feel bad inside, they build defenses such as denial, repression and a strong need to be right. Why do you have to dredge up your old grudges?
Then they call you or better still, get the neighbor or the nursing home administrator to call you demanding your immediate attendance. As we should be —no one should be allowed to impose their neediness and bad behavior on others.
She knows what she did was wrong and she knows your reaction is reasonable. People with severe narcissistic traits do not change because they do no believe that they have a problem and what they are doing works for them. Does your mother want to control your choices? She's very secretive, a characteristic of almost all abusers "Don't wash our dirty laundry in public!
The end result is a family in which almost all communication is triangular. She will deliver generalized barbs that are almost impossible to rebut always in a loving, caring tone: All of these questions relate to narcissistic traits.
The narcissistic defenses of becoming angry, shutting down, minimizing and distancing keep them feeling safe in the moment. Having done that she can reassert her shamelessness and indulge her childish willfulness by turning an unequivocal refusal into a subject for further discussion. Well I'll just take these Christmas presents back to the store.
These people are the takers of the world leaving pain and destruction in their wake. They will criticize the appearance of their daughters and daughters-in-law.
Posted by: Zolojinn | on October 2, 2012
Criticism and slander is slyly disguised as concern. She never gave you a birthday party or let you have sleepovers.
They observe how the selfish parents get his needs met by others. They'll give you hand-me-downs or market things for themselves as gifts for you "I thought I'd give you my old bicycle and buy myself a new one!
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By determination to be apt first with the all, and then with others, these above relationships can be lessened. You were never set to be super or have bad guys or problems.