The subconscious hope is that the other person will see all the love we give and be inspired to change. By attending to tasks the receiver should be able to address on her own, the helper prevents the receiver from realizing that she has a problem and seeking recovery. It takes a lot of work for a codependent person not to take things personally, especially when in an intimate relationship.
Start being honest with yourself and your partner. If you honestly say that you agree with the following statements, you may be codependent.
When a relationship is codependent there is often unhealthy clinginess, excessive dependency on each other for fulfillment, and often one or both parties have no autonomy or self-sufficiency. I will not help when agreeing to do so will put an unreasonable burden on my time, money, or emotional resources or those of my family. They try to take care of a person who is experiencing difficulty, but the caretaking becomes compulsive and defeating.
People who are codependent often look for things outside of themselves to feel better. Though many people live as if they have no limits, we cannot escape the fact that we live with them in all facets of our lives. You feel responsible for the actions of others. One of my favorite things to do is spend the evening in a warm bubble bath, light some candles and listen to Alan Watts lectures.
Healing from Codependency The good news is that codependency is a learned behavior, which means it can be unlearned. I wanted to be adored and nurtured and cherished. I thought that I was rid of this unhealthy and unsatisfying lifestyle, but the bad habits carried into my next two relationships. They each bring unique attributes to the table—creating a partnership that allows both of them to grow and thrive.
Those who struggle with codependency often have trouble with boundaries. Are you often unable to stop talking, thinking, and worrying about other people and their problems?
Posted by: Shaktirr | on October 2, 2012
How Do Co-dependent People Behave? Co-dependents view themselves as victims and are attracted to that same weakness in the love and friendship relationships.
Acting responsibly as a parent is part of what it means to love our children. This thinking is destructive if we do not have healthy boundaries that protect us from physical or emotional harm and signal to our partner that their abusive behavior is not acceptable.
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