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Clinging to the belief that they can be cured, they want to know what they or any prior therapists did to block them from achieving their treatment goals. If you''re willing to accept what you can''t change, we have many positive suggestions for improving the way you manage the shit on your plate--beginning with not wasting time repeating what hasn''t been working. Basically, they want a cure.

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Accept that depression is often chronic and incurable, so you can stop blaming yourself for not controlling it. Most people read self-help books, or come to see shrinks, because they can''t solve their problems after trying very, very hard to do it themselves. I am not one of them. Accept that you have some urges for stimulating but unhealthy substances, sex partners, or self-expression that no amount of self-understanding will change.

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This book is also filled with fun sidebars and tables, like this one, so that I, Sarah, can amuse myself: Bennett, came to believe that people use the very act of coming for help--and their overbelief in a cure for their problems--to deny the fact that there is much about life, others, and their own personalities that is beyond anyone''s power to change.

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Accept that there are some losses that never stop hurting, so you can stop delving into them, get used to living with a heavy heart, and try to build a better life. I am not one of them. They would rather see themselves as failures or as partially developed seekers who cannot properly begin their lives until they have found an answer that has so far eluded them. So, no, we can''t tell you how to repair a long-broken relationship with a difficult parent, reform a bad boyfriend, or get respect from your boss, but that''s only because nobody can.

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Stop treatments that don''t seem to be helping. After challenging advice seekers, patients, and our readers to accept what you can''t change, we show how you''re much less responsible for your misery than you thought. Bennett, came to believe that people use the very act of coming for help--and their overbelief in a cure for their problems--to deny the fact that there is much about life, others, and their own personalities that is beyond anyone''s power to change. Instead of false promises or happy endings, we provide concrete steps for getting past unavoidable bad feelings so you can do your best with what you actually control.

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Phil, Drew, Laura, Nick, etc. After urging you to accept whatever it is you can''t change--about your personality, behavior, spouse, kid, feelings, boss, country, pet, etc. Bennett, came to believe that people use the very act of coming for help--and their overbelief in a cure for their problems--to deny the fact that there is much about life, others, and their own personalities that is beyond anyone''s power to change. Unfortunately, many therapists, eager to help patients realize these wishes, support their false hopes.

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They would rather see themselves as failures or as partially developed seekers who cannot properly begin their lives until they have found an answer that has so far eluded them. Stop treatments that don''t seem to be helping.

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So, no, we can''t tell you how to repair a long-broken relationship with a difficult parent, reform a bad boyfriend, or get respect from your boss, but that''s only because nobody can. After urging you to accept whatever it is you can''t change--about your personality, behavior, spouse, kid, feelings, boss, country, pet, etc.

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5 Commentsto Ass hole picks

  1. Mor says:

    Unfortunately, many therapists, eager to help patients realize these wishes, support their false hopes. These expectations are stoked by the public faces of therapy, particularly those telegenic, first-name-basis self-help gurus like Drs.

  2. Molrajas says:

    With the right limits, you can have a peaceful relationship with a difficult parent, and with the right standards, you can avoid bad boyfriends altogether.

  3. Arahn says:

    After challenging advice seekers, patients, and our readers to accept what you can''t change, we show how you''re much less responsible for your misery than you thought. Unfortunately, many therapists, eager to help patients realize these wishes, support their false hopes.

  4. Grogami says:

    Stop treatments that don''t seem to be helping.

  5. Faegor says:

    Accept that there are some losses that never stop hurting, so you can stop delving into them, get used to living with a heavy heart, and try to build a better life. After challenging advice seekers, patients, and our readers to accept what you can''t change, we show how you''re much less responsible for your misery than you thought.

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