What is narcissistic personality disorder? Expect to have to clean up after the narcissist but don't expect the narcissist to clean up after you. The narcissist will use timing to gain greater control over the relationship and further priorities their needs above others:
Narcissists have a way of making choices feel off-limits without expressing any anger at all -- a disapproving wince, a last-minute call to preempt the plans, chronic lateness whenever you're in charge of arranging a night together. The narcissist can be a man or a woman. Watch out for people who often seek to modify your plans. In other words, they lack empathy.
Get into the habit of praising people and speaking well of people whenever praise is deserved. After all, they deserve it. How do we protect ourselves from narcissists if they're so adept at slipping into our lives unnoticed? Recent research shows that narcissists sometimes are "ego-dystonic"; that is, having thoughts or exhibiting behaviour that contradicts their idealized self-image.
If the narcissist lies, manipulates, hurts, and disrespects others, he or she will eventually treat you the same way. So they often change the subject when feelings come up, especially their own, and as quick as they might be to anger, it's often like pulling teeth to get them to admit that they've reached the boiling point -- even when they're in the midst of the most terrifying tirade.
This is a delicate balancing act: The narcissist's criticisms often involve exaggerating the person's faults, sometimes to the point of lying.
After all, wanting attention from the narcissist because you care about him or her is asking a favor: Outsiders will often perceive the narcissist's behaviour to be outgoing, fun, or "laid back". Are you dressing for them cooking for them, working on yourself constantly to always be in a good mood, to be lovable and worthy?
Posted by: Fegrel | on October 2, 2012
Non-professional diagnoses should be avoided, since there is a risk that they will be skewed by closeness to the subject. The word narcissism gets tossed around a lot in our selfie-obsessed, celebrity-driven culture, often to describe someone who seems excessively vain or full of themselves.
Narcissists are the most confusing and dangerous people on earth. By pointing out one irrelevant fact or one thing you did wrong and focusing on it, narcissists divert from your strengths and pull you into obsessing over any flaws or weaknesses instead.
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